This blog post has been gestating
in my addled old brain for quite a while – or at least that’s my excuse for not
having posted for ages. That it has
crystallised now is largely due to last night’s Doctor Who episode –
specifically one line “fear is a superpower” – that is the piece of grit that
this (ahem) pearl of dubious wisdom has finally formed around.
Fear feels like it is a large
part of my life (and those of many others).
Fear of failure, fear of success, fear of dying, fear of living, fear of
crowds, fear of being alone, fear of falling, fear of flying… There are so many flavours of fear to sample
in this life. Is it true that, as FDR
put it, “the only thing we have to fear… is fear itself”, or is it something
more positive in our lives? Is it
something that makes us faster, cleverer and better able to survive?
To me, it seems that the answer
is, as it is with so many other things, that it depends what we do with
it. If we sit cowering and letting it
master us, then it is certainly a negative.
If we use it to fire us and move forward acknowledging that it is part
of us, then it is something else entirely.
I am scared of many things – some
perfectly rational, many completely irrational, but no less real to my less
sane parts. Part of me is perpetually
afraid for the safety of my child and my wife.
That is probably part of being a parent and husband. I would rather be scared and that bit more
careful when they are relying on me (poor souls”) than not. I am
scared of my own body and its various malfunctions that appear to be part of
growing older – my Doctor must be sick of all the queries!
This, to be fair, hasn’t been
helped by my optician spotting cataracts in both my eyes – but at least it
explains the deterioration in my eyesight that I wasn’t sure if I was imagining
or not. I keep wandering on.
I can still get up and go to
work, rather than hiding from the world as I often want to do. I am driven to do better by thoughts similar
to Alan Shepard’s supposed “prayer” when he was awaiting launch,
Fear is a theme that is looming
large in these parts this week in particular…
All that I will say about that is – vote for what you feel that you
must, what is true for you and what may bring the future that you wish to
see. Step forward into the unknown, as
you do every second of every day and do so with hope.
